


Place All You're Given in Infinite Trust

by chashmish



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Domestic, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Marriage, Rival Relationship, occasional fourth wall breaks, post P5R true end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26002054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chashmish/pseuds/chashmish
Summary: Inexplicably, Ren dropped to one knee.Goro's mouth fell open. "What the hell are you doing? You don't know who's been walking on that floor. Or where their feet have been."Ren paid no mind to Goro's words or to the other shoppers, who were starting to gape at the two of them. He looked solemnly at Goro. Then he said, "Will you marry me?"Goro pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me."
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira
Comments: 36
Kudos: 496





	Place All You're Given in Infinite Trust

**Author's Note:**

> yeah this is my post P5R recovery fic. sometimes you need to write crack for catharsis. I don't know what else to say about this 
> 
> title is from PPP by beach house a song which does not match this fic tonally whatsoever

"So," Ren said. "You were here."

Goro should have known Ren would find him again. He seemed to be wholly incapable of failure, after all. 

He just didn't think their next meeting would occur in a place as mundane as the supermarket. It was almost disappointing. 

"I haven't been standing in the produce section since we last met, if that's what you're asking," Goro said. 

"Nice apron," Ren returned. 

“Bills don’t pay themselves,” Goro said cuttingly. 

“I was being serious. It looks good.” As usual, it was impossible to tell if Ren was joking.

“Well, it’s been great to see you,” Goro said, changing his tone and assuming a cheery voice. “We have several buy-one get-one-free deals running today. Make sure to take advantage of them. Goodb–”

“I thought we finally understood each other." Ren was frowning. "But it's been a whole year, and you were alive the whole time, and you didn't even come by the café, or send me a text, or anything."

Goro closed his mouth, feeling his jaw tighten. He had been convinced that leaving everyone from the past behind was the right thing to do. But now, suddenly, he was beginning to feel doubt for the first time. How annoying. 

"There's only one way that I can think of now," Ren said. 

Goro frowned. "A way to do… what?” 

"To make sure I don't lose you again." And then, inexplicably, Ren dropped to one knee. 

Goro's mouth fell open. "What the hell are you doing? You don't know who's been walking on that floor. Or where their feet have been." 

Ren paid no mind to Goro's words or to the other shoppers, who were starting to gape at the two of them. He looked solemnly at Goro. Then he said, "Will you marry me?"

Goro pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me."

* * *

"So what'd you say?" Ann exclaimed. 

"Judging from the story, it seems as if he gave no answer at all," Yusuke said.

"What a cop-out, man," Ryuji said. "It's a dick move to keep a guy waiting like that."

"But he didn't say no, either," Makoto added. "That has to mean something, doesn't it?"

"Why the hell are any of you here?" Goro roared.

Sojiro looked over at them from behind the counter of Leblanc. "Hey, keep it down, all of you!" He shook his head. "Kids these days."

Goro crossed his arms and glared at the former Phantom Thieves, who were all surrounding him in a Leblanc booth. He'd only come here for a discussion with Ren. Now he was having to deal with his circus troupe of a friend group. How… Well, how typical, actually. 

"Um, duh," Futaba said. "Because this has to do with Ren. Even Sumire would be around if she didn't have practice."

Haru nodded firmly. "We all have to look out for our former leader’s well-being.” 

"But are you just gonna say no now, Akechi?" Morgana demanded. 

"Of course I am. It's a completely ridiculous…" Goro was going to say _proposal,_ but he supposed that would be too literal. "Idea."

"Actually, it could be a smart move," Sae said. 

"How are _you_ here, too?" Goro snapped. "Don't you have a job?"

Having just entered through the door, Sae Niijima was standing near it with a hand on her hip. "I just thought I'd pop in for a moment to explain some things. Marriage can reduce the overall cost of medical coverage. Your credit will improve as well. And you’re entitled to pay less income tax. Considering your current financial situation, this is all pertinent information.” 

“Well…” Goro faltered for a second, but then he frowned and folded his arms. Speaking coldly, he said, "There's no reason I should say yes to just anyone who comes begging for my hand. You should have seen how many proposals I received in the mail when I was on TV. Each one of those people had their hearts crushed."

"But this isn't just some rando stan wasting postage stamps," Futaba argued. "It's Ren!"

"So what? Also, why don't any of you seem at all surprised by the fact that he asked me to marry him?" Goro snapped. "Have I entered some kind of bizarre alternate universe? _Again_?"

"Well…" Ann shrugged. "To be honest, it makes sense."

"Yeah. Like, you're alive now–" Ryuji began.

"For reasons that are beyond the scope of this story," Futaba added.

"–but when Maruki thought you were dead, he basically just added you to that fake world because Ren wanted you around, right?" Ryuji continued. 

Makoto spoke up. "Maruki was able to use the godlike powers he obtained after taking Yaldabaoth's place to determine that Ren's foremost wish was to have Akechi return. To that end, the whole of reality was manipulated. Relative to that, marriage… well…" 

"It doesn't seem like a very drastic next step!" Haru finished. "Plus, he's always carrying your glove around."

"That's– I know all of that, but–" Goro gritted his teeth. "I don't want to _marry_ Ren. I want to duel him. I want to have our rematch."

"Duel this, duel that," Futaba said, rolling her eyes. "The Metaverse doesn't exist anymore, you know. What are the two of you gonna do? Throw punches in the alley behind Leblanc?"

"I have heard it said that marriage is the ultimate battle," Yusuke noted. "That aside, we should cut Akechi some slack, as he is clearly acting in that– what was it?– 'tsundere' manner."

"What the _hell_ are you–"

"Akechi," Ann cut in. "I think I know why you're hesitating. I know Ren can be impulsive and not think before he acts. But I'm telling you– he really means it. He wants to marry you."

Goro opened his mouth to make a witty retort, but for once, he found that he didn't have anything to say in response. 

"Oh, hey." 

A voice was coming from the back of the café. Goro looked up. He hadn't even heard Ren's footsteps coming down the stairs. He was in his loungewear and scratching absently at the back of his neck. "Guess I overslept," he said. 

"We had an appointment," Goro snapped. "You're late." 

"Whoops." Ren tugged at his bangs. Something about the way he looked charmingly disheveled, even after clearly having just woken up, was sickening. Somehow. 

"Ren!" Futaba said. "I need to tell you something." She got up from the booth and went over to Ren. Then she stood on her tiptoes and whispered something into his ear. Looking over, Goro thought he saw something small exchange hands, but he couldn't be sure.

Ren smiled at Futaba after she pulled away. Then he looked over to Goro. "Come up to the attic," he said.

"Why?" Goro said curtly. 

"So I can try again." Ren walked over to him.

"Aw, are we not allowed to watch?" Ann complained.

"Public proposals are manipulative." Ren took his hand and refused to let go. Despite Goro's loud protests, he dragged him all the way up the stairs. 

"This place is a hellhole," Goro said when they reached the attic, because if he didn't find a way to insult it every time he was there he would literally die. 

"You get used to it," Ren said. "Anyway–" 

"No." Goro cut him off, lowering his voice in a hiss. "You're going to listen to me. I don't know what's gotten into you, but I'm not some prize to be obtained through an outdated form of legal companionship. I thought we understood each other. I'm your _rival_."

"You are my rival," Ren agreed. "But we can't be good rivals if you're always going off to die somewhere. This is the best way to keep track of each other. Honestly, I'm not sure why you're having such a hard time understanding this."

"Now, you–" To Goro’s horror, Ren was getting down on one knee again. 

But this time… he was pulling something out of his pocket.

It was a ring. A ring with a character’s face on it– a character who Goro recognized immediately. “You can’t be serious.” 

"It’s Featherman merch," Ren said. "You've always liked the show, right?"

"This is a toy for children," Goro muttered. "And Futaba gave that to you."

Ren shrugged. "We've talked about it– how Black Condor's your favorite."

"You actually remember that?"

Ren looked at him, eyes serious. "Yeah."

How the hell did Ren always manage to catch Goro so off-guard? 

Goro swallowed. He could feel his resolve weakening. But he had to give an answer– now. 

Ren was Goro's rival– his very important rival, who he'd never accept a loss to. But would he be winning or losing if he said yes to this? Usually the answer was clear, but now… 

Goro looked at the Black Condor ring again. Something in his chest felt strange. "Well,” he found himself saying. “We can't duel in the Metaverse anymore. And someone told me that marriage is the ultimate battle. So…"

"So?" Ren pressed.

"So…" 

He was such an idiot. _Ren_ was such an idiot. 

"Fine,” Goro said. He held out his hand. 

Ren's face broke into a wide, beatific grin. He slipped the ring onto Goro's finger, beaming all the while. 

The more Goro looked at that expression the more odd he felt, so he turned away. "Well," he said, "that's that. I want something to eat."

While approaching the stairs, Goro and Ren heard someone loudly hiss, “Move, they’re coming!”

Downstairs in the café, they saw the former Phantom Thieves standing by casually as they all tried to pretend they hadn’t been listening. The fact that this group had once acted as a successful infiltration team was mind-boggling. 

Ren took hold of Goro's hand and held it up, showing everyone the shoddily-manufactured Black Condor ring. "He said yes," he announced unnecessarily, and grinned smugly. 

Everyone burst into cheers and applause. 

“I’ll whip up some curry as a celebration,” said Sojiro, beaming like a proud father.

Goro wondered what the hell he'd gotten himself into.

* * *

They got married a few weeks later by signing some papers at the courthouse, which wasn't exciting in the least. Sae had volunteered to act as a witness. After all was said and done, she excused herself and went to the restroom. 

Ren wasted no time in pushing him against the wall in a deserted hallway and slamming it with one hand. 

"This is very cliché, you know," Goro said flatly. "I expected better from you."

"...I was trying to be cool." Ren lowered his arm so that they were just standing face-to-face at an uncomfortably intimate distance. "You didn't kiss me," he said. 

" _You_ didn't kiss _me_ ," Goro countered pointedly. 

Ren appeared to consider this. Then he stepped even closer. 

Goro couldn't say that making out with Ren against the wall was altogether unpleasant. Even though his apprehension about being caught and reprimanded began to increase exponentially after a while, he refused to back down before Ren did. 

"A- _hem_."

The two of them broke away to see Sae frowning at them in disapproval. Goro was privately glad for the intrusion. His lips were starting to feel sore. 

"Sorry," Ren said, looking incredibly smug for no reason. 

"Honestly," Sae murmured. "Maybe they really should raise the marrying age."

Afterwards, Sae dropped them off at Ren's place. 

His place now, too, Goro reflected grimly as he stared up at the front of an apartment building that he'd never be able to afford living in on his own. Goro had campaigned desperately for them to move into his apartment instead, but Ren's was bigger and far closer to the university campus and the store Goro worked at, so he hadn't had much of a leg to stand on. 

"Home sweet home," Ren commented a minute later as he unlocked the door. After it swung open, Goro examined the interior of the apartment. Ren had already done most of the moving in, and Goro had dropped off his own things earlier, so at least it looked livable. More so than the attic, at least. 

"So, where will I be sleeping?" Goro asked.

"Uh, in the bedroom."

"Which bedroom?"

"The only bedroom?"

"This bedroom," Goro said pleasantly. "Does it have a single bed?"

"Yeah." Realization dawned on Ren's face. "Oh."

"I have another question," Goro said tersely. "Have you actually thought any of this through at all?"

Ren shrugged. "I just assumed it would work out."

"Right. Will you excuse me for a minute? I need to go scream in the bathroom." Goro picked up a pillow from the couch. 

"Why are you taking the pillow?"

"To muffle my screams." 

Goro was beginning to feel better after a few minutes of dedicated screaming when he suddenly heard a shrill beeping noise from outside the bathroom. 

When he got to the kitchen, Ren was surrounded by flames, and the smoke detector's ear-splitting noises sounded even louder. 

"What. The. Fuck," Goro said, and grabbed a towel. 

"I was trying to make instant ramen, but I'm not sure how the stove works yet," Ren yelled over the sounds of the two of them beating out the fire and the general chaos. 

"I hate you," Goro yelled back. 

In the end they had to wait outside for the property manager. 

"Well, it could be worse," Ren said reasonably, as they sat morosely on the cold ground. 

Goro shifted irritably. "Could it?"

"Oh, hello!"

They looked up to see that the door to the apartment next to theirs had opened, and a woman had emerged, dressed to leave the house. She smiled at them. "Did you just move in?"

"Yup," Ren said. Then he did that infuriating thing where he assumed the simultaneously confident and nurturing air that made everyone love him immediately. "I'm Ren Amamiya."

"Oh!"

Well, two could play at that game. Goro turned on a megawatt smile and added some boyish earnestness to the tone of his voice. "I'm Goro Akechi."

The woman seemed positively delighted to have such exceptionally charming new neighbors. "I'm Kaede Ishida. It's so nice to meet the both of you! Are you going to school together?"

"We're married," Ren said, an action Goro knew he would take and had been powerless to prevent. He turned to Goro and said, in an undertone, "Show her your ring."

"I don't actually wear that cereal-box toy of a ring, idiot."

"Newlyweds? That's lovely! Well, you'll have to come by and have dinner with us sometime," Mrs. Ishida told them. 

"We'd love that," Ren said, smiling pleasantly.

"We _would,_ " Goro said, smiling harder. 

The property manager arrived soon afterwards. When she'd finished admonishing them and the damage had been assessed, she left and they were free to examine the kitchen. 

"Could be worse," Ren said again as they looked at the charred backsplash. 

"I'm exhausted," Goro muttered, and headed to the bedroom. 

He stopped abruptly at the door when what he saw reminded him of what they'd been discussing before the fiasco. 

"It's a big bed," Ren said from behind him, startling Goro. "And I don't think it's that big of a deal to share." He stepped into the room and looked at Goro out of the corner of his eye. "Unless you don't think you can handle it."

"Of course I can," Goro said haughtily, crossing his arms.

"Good," Ren said.

" _Good_."

They stood there in silence.

"Well, I'm going to go make ramen," Ren said finally. 

"...You've got to be kidding me."

* * *

Goro quickly became aware that married life was monotonous. Ren had class every day, and all Goro had to do was pick up shifts at the supermarket and try to find subtle ways to instigate arguments between his coworkers. It wasn't long before Goro decided to pursue his own idea of fun.

So one day when Ren came home, Goro was waiting in the living room with a chess board on the coffee table. He smiled up at his husband. "Play with me."

Ren set down his bag. "Okay."

The next day, Ren arrived to the same sight as before, except this time, the game was Scrabble. 

"Play with me," Goro said again. 

And once again, Ren said, "Okay."

The day after that it was shogi. Then it was checkers. Then mahjong. One day Goro even rented some fencing equipment and greeted Ren in a uniform, with a foil pointed at Ren's chest, and an "En garde." Next he found some tennis rackets and showed up on Ren's campus after his last class ended so they could head to the courts. 

None of it seemed to surprise Ren, and he always put up a good fight, clearly enjoying each and every competition Goro planned for them. It was infuriating. But more than that– it was exhilarating. 

"You seem happy," Ren said, when they were relaxing on the grass at the park one day after a vigorous bout of badminton. 

"I'm pleased," Goro agreed. "You're always able to match my energy with ease."

"Of course." Ren winked. "I have to bring my A-game whenever it comes to you."

"Heh. I'm glad you realize that. I expect full effort from a worthy rival."

Ren's Cheshire smile widened. "Worthy, huh?"

"Mm-hmm." Goro lay back down on the grass with his arms crossed behind his head, feeling a smile tug at the corner of his mouth. "You haven't disappointed me. Yet. Remind me to change the scorecard on the magnetic whiteboard on the fridge when we get home."

Maybe Ren had been onto something with this marriage thing. So far it seemed as if it was working out pretty well. 

* * *

Well, except for one thing. 

Since that time at the courthouse, they hadn't actually… gotten any closer.

Goro had done his best to put it all out of his mind, but that was becoming _difficult,_ as Ren insisted on constantly parading around the house in his stupid skimpy loungewear. Well, it was more lumpy than skimpy, admittedly, and definitely had more than one curry stain on it, but the more Goro felt deprived, the more the thoughts running through his mind became increasingly addled and frenzied, and the more the dumb pajamas began to look completely obscene. 

After one excruciating day during which Ren kept lifting up his shirt and blaming it on the heat, Goro couldn't take it anymore. "I've been thinking," he told Ren that night in their bedroom. 

"Yeah?" His husband was lying in an odd position on the sheets, his legs up and resting on the headboard with his head at the foot of the bed. He was playing that Stardew Valley game he liked so much on his Nintendo Switch. Futaba was definitely still rubbing off on him. 

Goro coughed. "There are… certain benefits to married life that we have yet to take advantage of."

"Huh?" Ren bolted upright– except he didn't, because the position he was in made him lose balance and he ended up giving a strangled yelp as he kind of tumbled sideways. 

Goro raised an eyebrow. "Are you–"

"I'm okay." Ren rolled over and sat up, clearing his throat. "So. You were saying that you... want to start taking advantage?"

 _Absolutely, because sleeping in the same bed while simultaneously maintaining a chaste distance has left me so perpetually blue-balled it feels like my dick is constantly seconds away from actually falling off, you bastard,_ Goro wanted to scream. Instead he said, "Yes."

Ren grinned. "And you're not, uh, talking about life insurance or anything, right?"

" _No_."

"Cool," Ren said. "Then how about we start now?"

So then, they had a nice evening. And a nice morning the next day, too, before Ren left for his afternoon classes, and then another nice evening when he came back from those. 

Goro lost track of time during the couple of days that followed, since he and Ren were keeping busy. But one afternoon, he awoke to find that Ren wasn't sleeping next to him. 

He grabbed his phone and found that he had one message from Ren informing him that he was going out to pick up some curry from Leblanc, and a truly staggering amount of notifications from the group chat made up of himself and the former Phantom Thieves. 

[15:33] **Yusuke Kitagawa** : I was disappointed that neither Ren nor Akechi were able to accept my housewarming gift today.  
[15:33] **RYUJI** : They moved in a while ago tho  
[15:34] **Yusuke Kitagawa** : Well, I only recently saved up enough to purchase something.  
[15:35] **Haru** : Why couldn't they accept, Yusuke?  
[15:36] **Yusuke Kitagawa** : I believe they were home, but unresponsive to my knocks. I must conclude that they were otherwise occupied.  
[15:36] **Ann❤** : omg  
[15:36] **futabanator** : LMAOO  
[15:36] **futabanator** : monas asking why I'm laughing LMFAOOOOOOO  
[15:37] **RYUJI** : What are you guys talking abt  
[15:37] **Sumi** : ^^^ i'm not sure either?  
[15:37] **futabanator** : 4444444442l22222212  
[15:38] **futabanator** : srry monas paws on screen  
[15:38] **Haru** : Well, that's very normal for newlyweds. And they are a teenage couple living together.  
[15:38] **Ann❤** : whoa… Haru's mature……..  
[15:38] **Sumi** : um are ren and akechi okay?  
[15:39] **futabanator** : yup theyre doing great  
[15:39] **Niijima M.** : Did any of this really have to be said in the group chat? I think we should all take a long, hard look at ourselves and really think through what the answer to that question could be.  
[15:39] **futabanator** : the answer is yes  
[15:40] **Ren ^_^** : thanks everybody for leaving this backlog of messages  
[15:40] **futabanator** : np  
[15:40] **RYUJI** : Wtf are you guys talking abt fr

Goro threw his phone at the wall. 

* * *

"Next time, I recommend taking better care of it," Ren said. "Or at least buying a stronger case."

They had just left the phone store in the mall. "It was about time I purchased a newer model, anyway," Goro muttered. "Anyway, you don't have to tell me twice. I hardly have the money to spend on another."

Ren snapped his fingers. "That's right, joint bank accounts. I knew I was forgetting something."

"Don't even start with that."

"Is that you, Akechi? And Amamiya?"

They both turned and saw Mrs. Ishida, their neighbor, approaching them with a smile. "How nice to see you!"

"The pleasure is ours," Goro said smoothly.

"You look radiant today," Ren added. 

The woman seemed so overwhelmed by their combined charm that she was tearing up a little. Goro decided to dial it back a bit so they could have a normal conversation. "What brings you to the mall?"

Recovering, Mrs. Ishida answered him, "My daughter needed a new coat, so I was just checking out a few stores. How about you two? Do either of you work here, by chance? A lot of young people do."

Ren shook his head. "I'm just a student."

"And I've been working at the supermarket in Ginza,” Goro replied.

"Oh, that place! I'm going there later to pick up some things for dinner. With Amamiya busy with school, you must do a lot of the cooking, don't you, Akechi?" Mrs. Ishida asked. 

"Well," Goro said evasively. He and Ren mostly just ate takeout food. And a lot of curry. 

"And I'm sure working at the grocery store means that the shopping is easier. It's helpful for one person in the household to take charge of the cooking! Especially when someone else is away more often. You're doing well supporting your husband, Akechi." Mrs. Ishida smiled. "Oh, but I have to run. I'll see you two later!"

After she left, Ren was smirking. "Hey," he said into Goro's ear, "good on you for supporting m–" 

"That's enough out of you," Goro said darkly. 

That conversation had left him in something of a bad mood. He wasn't a disappointment to the household because he couldn't cook. Or was he?

No, he wasn't. He just didn't appreciate smug housewives lording their domestic skills over him. Goro refused to be shown up. 

* * *

[11:25] **Akechi:** Hello.  
[11:25] **futabanator** : boooooo  
[11:25] **Akechi:** Please stop typing that every time I enter the chat.  
[11:25] **futabanator:** sorry its habit at this point  
[11:26] **futabanator:** wait this isn't the regular chat 0_o  
[11:26] **Yusuke Kitagawa:** Indeed. Ren isn't here.  
[11:27] **Akechi:** There's something I want to do for him.  
[11:27] **Akechi:** Who here knows how to cook?  
[11:27] **Haru:** I can grow vegetables!  
[11:27] **Haru:** …  
[11:27] **Haru:** But servants usually do my cooking.  
[11:27] **RYUJI** : me  
[11:28] **Ann❤:** ?!?!  
[11:28] **Ann❤:** wtf seriously??  
[11:28] **RYUJI** : Yea dude ive always helped my mom  
[11:28] **Ann❤:** omg… even i cant cook  
[11:29] **RYUJI:** Lol fr?  
[11:29] **Ann❤** : my caretaker usually does my cooking…  
[11:29] **futabanator** : the guillotine for ann and haru  
[11:29] **Haru:** D:  
[11:30] **Niijima M.:** I can cook. Why?  
[11:31] **Akechi:** I want to cook something. For Ren. Tonight.  
[11:31] **Ann❤:** omg awwwwww  
[11:31] **Yusuke Kitagawa** : How heartwarming.  
[11:31] **Akechi:** It's merely out of necessity.  
[11:31] **futabanator:** being tsun again  
[11:32] **Akechi** : Can any of you make time?  
[11:32] **Niijima M.** : Oh, tonight? Unfortunately, I'm not available.   
[11:32] **Sumi** : hi everyone  
[11:33] **Sumi:** sorry, I just saw these messages!  
[11:33] **Sumi:** but I'm quite good at cooking. and I'm free tonight!  
[11:34] **RYUJI:** Ya im not doing anything tn either  
[11:34] **Niijima M.** : Well, it looks like Sumire and Ryuji can help you out, Akechi.  
[11:35] **Akechi:** I see. I appreciate it. Could the two of you come over at 5? I've done the necessary shopping already.  
[11:35] **Sumi:** will do!  
[11:35] **RYUJI:** Yup  
[11:36] **Niijima M.:** I look forward to seeing the results of this.  
[11:36] **futabanator** : this is gonna be hilarious 

* * *

"I brought protein powder," Ryuji announced.

"I brought protein powder, too!" Sumire said, beaming. 

"Great," Goro said. "So we've established that we have protein powder."

It was a few minutes past five o'clock, and the three of them were taking up a lot of space in Goro and Ren's small kitchen. Goro wasn't sure if he trusted Ryuji not to burn the place down, but at least he knew firsthand that the smoke detector was functioning properly. 

"Did something happen here, Akechi-senpai?" Sumire was examining the blackened tiles behind the stove. 

"Long story," Goro said. "Anyway, I thought today we could make fried rice."

Sumire nodded. "That's a good dish to start with. And it can potentially be a healthy meal. If you're just learning to cook, then you should definitely start with nutrition in mind."

"Nutrition's great and all, but we gotta make sure it tastes good," Ryuji said. 

"I always start by proportioning everything," Sumire said. "And I try to make sure I'm getting the exact necessary number of calories and vitamins!"

"I've been cooking for a while, so I usually just eyeball the ingredients based off of what I know," Ryuji said. "Don't worry, though, Akechi. You may be an amateur, but you have us pros to help you along!"

Goro felt a headache coming on. "Right. Let's just get started."

What followed was a somewhat confusing cooking experience that involved a lot of stumbling around the kitchen, some ingredient spillage, and two Band-Aids.

Finally, they ended up with a somewhat lumpy-looking pan of fried rice. 

"Is it supposed to be that color?" Goro murmured.

"Well, I added the protein powder," Sumire said nervously. 

Ryuji frowned. "Oh. I thought _I_ was the one who was going to add the protein powder."

They stood there in silence.

"Um…" Sumire began. "I think this might have been because my cooking style is so different from Ryuji's. I'm sorry!"

"Nah, man. I should've paid more attention." Ryuji sighed. "Well, you could invite Yusuke over to eat it."

"My own amateurishness didn't help with the process." Goro looked forlornly at the pan. "But there's no time for a redo. Ren should be coming home soon."

"In that case, we'll leave the rest of it to you, Akechi," Sumire said. "Um… good luck!"

"Hey, maybe he'll like it," Ryuji said, shrugging. "See you later, man."

Ren arrived soon after the two of them left, smiling as he entered the apartment. "Hey." He raised his eyebrows. "No game today?"

Goro emerged from the kitchen, his arms crossed. "You're just in time for dinner."

"Um," Ren said. "Any reason you're giving off a threatening aura?"

A few minutes later, Ren and Goro were seated at the dining table, the fried rice in plates in front of them. 

"Well, thanks for the food," Ren said, going with a classic way to translate _itadakimasu_ to English. He took a bite. 

Goro decided to ignore his reaction for now and dug in for himself. Oh. This was… 

"Tastes very interesting," Ren said, mouth still half-full.

"I wasn't strong enough to cook a meal by myself," Goro said despondently. "I knew it. This is what happens when you rely on teammates. You get terrible fried rice."

"Goro." Ren swallowed, put down his chopsticks, and looked seriously at him. "Let me tell you something.”

“...What is it?”

“You're really hot–"

" _Excuse_ me?" 

"–and smart, and talented, and intelligent–" Ren continued.

"Now you're just using synonyms," Goro said, but he was mollified.

"But you can't be good at everything," Ren said. "It's okay that you didn't succeed this time at cooking. Anyway, if you’re worried about what Mrs. Ishida said, I don't really think that it applies to us. It's not like only one person always has to do the cooking in the house. I mean, it's 20XX. I thought society was past that."

"But I still want to be _good_ at it," Goro said, scowling a little. "I hate not being good at things."

"I know. Me too. We can work on getting better together." Ren smiled at him. "You can rely on me."

"I… see," Goro said, feeling his face heat up. "In that case, I will."

"Great." Ren looked down at his plate. "I don't really want to eat this anymore, though."

"Me neither.” Goro sighed and got up. “I'll order pizza."

* * *

Life went on as usual, and Goro started to adjust to the new routine he and Ren had worked out for themselves. 

During the week they competed at sports or games or practiced cooking new meals. On the weekends Goro helped Ren study, and sometimes they went out to the movies or elsewhere, occasionally even meeting up with some of Ren’s friends– who slowly felt like they were becoming Goro’s friends, too. 

Everything was rather… nice. Goro almost didn’t mind that there was so little chaos to be sowed. 

Considering the way everything was going, it was quite a surprise when one day Ren came home, barely responded to Goro’s greetings, and shut himself up in the bedroom. 

Goro allowed Ren exactly eight minutes of alone time before he entered the room. Ren was lying on the bed with the comforter over his head. 

Goro felt concerned. What an odd emotion. He came closer and sat next to Ren on the bed. “What’s wrong?” he said abruptly.

From under the thick blanket, Ren made a noise that sounded vaguely like “Nothing.”

“It doesn’t seem like nothing.”

Ren spoke again, his voice clearer. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Goro narrowed his eyes and pulled the comforter off of Ren to reveal his husband’s frowning face, which would be very cute if Goro wasn’t worried and also annoyed. “Well, will you want to talk about it eventually?”

Ren blinked at him and scowled a little. “It’s my problem, okay? I’ll deal with it.”

“Hm?” Goro snapped. “Ren, I recall making a legally-binding commitment with you that ensures that our problems are now shared.” 

Ren was silent.

"Just because you're the one who's always running around solving people's issues doesn't mean you can't talk about your own.” Goro folded his arms. “I expect better from you than to draw that kind of pea-brained conclusion."

Ren still didn’t respond. Goro hated it when he chose the ‘...’ dialogue option. “Fine,” he said curtly. “Have it your way.” He threw the blanket back over Ren’s head and left the room. 

* * *

The tense silence in their home stretched on. Goro refused to be the one to break it first. In the end he was victorious, because after a day and a half Ren broke the space heater.

“I didn’t break it,” Ren protested. “It just... broke.”

“Well, regardless, we’ll have to buy a new one,” Goro muttered.

“Then why don’t we do it now?” 

“Fine,” Goro replied.

“Fine.” 

They came out of the store an hour later holding a very large box. 

“I guess we’ll just have to take a cab to the train station,” Goro said.

“Fine,” Ren said.

“ _Fine_.” 

They called for a cab, and after a minute or two of waiting around on the sidewalk, one rolled to a stop in front of them. Goro approached it and opened the door. 

Then he saw the driver and did a double-take. “Oh, God.”

“What is it?” Ren came closer. “Oh.”

Takuto Maruki looked just as surprised to see them. “Well,” he said. “Hello.” 

* * *

"You know, despite the fact that my career is over, my dreams are crushed, and I went from being a rising star in academia to driving a taxi for a living, it's really nice to see how close the two of you have gotten," Maruki said, smiling. "I always knew you could do it!"

“Can’t you go any faster?” Goro said sharply, looking out the window at the Tokyo traffic crawling by.

“We’re married, actually,” Ren said serenely.

“You’re kidding!” Maruki sounded shocked. “But you’re so young! Well, I guess I was right about the two of you having a special relationship. So how's married life?"

The car was silent. 

"Is… everything okay?" Maruki said tentatively. 

"It's just fine," Goro said abruptly.

"It has its ups and downs,” Ren said. 

“By _downs,_ I hope you mean the fact that you choose to spend days sulking instead of facing what’s upsetting you,” Goro snapped.

“I am facing it,” Ren retorted. “On my own, because it’s my problem.” 

“You know, marriage isn’t easy,” Maruki tried. “It takes real strength and work. Not to mention mutual respect.” 

“I don’t feel particularly respected, since _Ren_ won’t even tell me anything about what’s bothering him,” Goro hissed. 

"Hey, both of you are young,” Maruki said. “Up until now, you haven't had much experience when it comes to relationships.” 

"Can you be quiet? I refuse to be subjected to your wishy-washy idea of marriage counseling in the back of a cab," Goro said coldly. "Next time I'm calling us an Uber."

"No, don't! Ride-share apps are killing my business," Maruki protested. “Listen, aside from your lack of experience, the two of you have never really gotten a chance to just be yourselves around one another, so I can understand why you might feel like you don't need to concern the other person with your problems. But marriage is a partnership, and you guys made the decision to commit to each other. So you should trust each other and share how you feel. Now that neither of you are alone anymore, you can help each other."

There was a moment of silence as Goro and Ren processed Maruki’s words. 

“I suppose Ren and I are better at grand gestures and reality-shattering events than feelings,” Goro muttered. “Those things are basically the foundation of our marriage.” 

"Well, you can't subsist on things like that forever,” Maruki said reasonably, signaling and changing lanes. 

“I could be honest about my feelings,” Ren said. He crossed his arms. "If I wanted.” 

"Oh, could you?" Goro challenged. 

"Yup. For instance–" Ren hesitated for the briefest of moments before continuing. "I love you." 

For a moment Goro was speechless. Then he strengthened his resolve. There was no way he was going to be upstaged. "Well, I love you too," he said, trying to sound casual. 

"Yeah? Well, I love you more," Ren said, looking defiantly at him. 

"I highly doubt that,” Goro countered, “considering I love you a truly... astronomical amount.” 

"Uh, this isn't exactly what I meant, but… I'm happy for you two!" Maruki turned his head and smiled at them.

"Eyes on the road," Goro ordered.

They reached the station soon after that. Maruki smiled at them as they got out of the cab. "I'm always glad to talk to the two of you. Really. By the way, I’d appreciate a more generous tip next time."

They watched him drive away. “You didn’t tell me he made a career change,” Goro said. 

“I guess I forgot,” Ren said. 

“Understandable, I suppose.”

Ren tugged at his bangs. “Um. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what was bothering me. I’m really not used to being the one that needs help, or comforting.” 

“I’d like to help,” Goro said, folding his arms. “If you’d let me.”

Ren scratched his head. “I’ve been feeling homesick,” he confessed. “I really like Tokyo, and I don’t miss home that often, but… it’s been a while since I’ve seen my family. I guess I just miss them, and some other things about home.” 

“So that’s what it was,” Goro murmured.

“Yeah.” Ren shuffled his feet. “That, and I’ve been a little stressed about classes, and… I guess it all piled up.” He looked up and smiled a little at Goro. “But I actually feel better after talking about it.” 

Goro swallowed. “Let’s… take a trip to your home,” he said. “When your term at school is over.” 

Ren’s eyebrows shot up. “Seriously?”

“Yes. You can show me all the boring details of your boring hick town and introduce me to your normal family.” 

Ren beamed. “Okay. Let’s do it.” 

They smiled stupidly at each other for a minute. Then Goro came back to his senses. “We have to make our train.”

“Oops. Right.”

That night, when Goro got to bed a little after Ren, his husband was watching him seriously. “Can we do a little more of the feelings thing?”

“Well, if we must.” Goro stretched. 

"I thought I lost you, you know," Ren said. "Not just once, but twice."

That caught Goro off-guard. "Well," Goro said, before he could really think about what he was saying, "I had to leave you twice." 

The expression on Ren's face changed, almost imperceptibly, through a widening of his eyes and a slight parting of his lips. 

Goro swallowed and looked away. "Anyway," he said. "That's behind us now."

"Yeah," Ren said. 

They were silent for a moment, looking at each other.

Then Ren smiled slightly. "Let's watch some TV."

"Okay." 

Ren switched on the television and settled back in bed. Goro spent a moment feeling agonizingly indecisive before leaning over to rest his head on his shoulder. In response, Ren put an arm around him and pulled him close. 

They attentively watched a reality show– something about some idol singer’s family. So this was marriage, Goro thought. Bad TV, a shared bed, and a strange feeling of safety. He supposed he could get used to it. 

* * *

Goro had to admit that he liked being out in public with Ren. It was nice to walk next to his husband, being seen by everybody as part of a pair. They looked great together, after all, and aesthetics were important. Plus, Goro always enjoyed glaring at anybody who looked at Ren for too long. 

It was even nice to sit next to each other in the booth at Leblanc when they were meeting up with the others, their shoulders touching. Nobody could see them holding hands under the table, but Goro liked that part, too. 

Today, the rest of the group was bemoaning the fact that there was nothing to do. 

“I’m quite restless after all the studying I had to do for exams recently,” Haru admitted.

“I feel like I’ve been spending all my time at practice, too,” Sumire said, sighing. 

“Come to think of it, besides this, we haven’t all done something together in a while,” Makoto said, raising her cup of coffee.

“Yup,” Futaba said. “We’re all busy now. And Goro and Ren are doing married things.” 

“Hey, that’s not fair, you guys,” Ryuji chided. “Just ‘cause you’re living out domestic bliss don’t mean you stop hanging out with us.” 

“You know…” Ann said. “Besides Ryuji and Sumire, none of us have seen your place.” 

“You’re right,” Ren said. “I guess we have been pretty busy.” 

“Why don’t we get together at Ren and Goro’s place next time, then?” Makoto suggested. “That is, if it’s all right.” 

“Ooh,” Futaba said. “Let’s have a dinner party! I demand the hosts go all-out to make up for their negligence.” 

“I can help with seating charts!” said Haru.

“I can help with the menu,” Yusuke said. “By that, I mean that I can text you what I’d like to be served.” 

“Fatty tuna, please!” Morgana yowled. 

“Make sure you have enough food for me,” Sumire said seriously. 

“I don’t even really know if we have enough chairs,” Ren confessed.

“Well, we can get some,” Goro said brightly. “And a high chair for Morgana.” 

Ren turned to him, eyebrows raised.

“Looks like the hubby wants to play host,” Futaba murmured. “This is a key development.” 

“Well, it could be fun,” Ren said thoughtfully. “Is everyone free a week from now?”

There were general noises of assent from around the room. 

“In that case, we’d love to have you all over,” Goro said, smiling serenely.

“Someone’s really enjoying being a society husband,” Futaba said.

Goro flipped his hair. “I’m simply looking forward to the opportunity to welcome you all to our home.” 

“Yeah,” Ren said. “We can just cover up the burned part of the kitchen with cardboard or something.” 

Goro sighed. 

* * *

After a week of preparation, Goro and Ren were finally ready to host the greatest dinner party of the year. It probably wouldn’t end up in any of the society magazines, but Goro had a good feeling about it nonetheless. 

"I still don't get why you wanted us to rent tuxedos," Ren said. "But I'm not complaining."

"Neither am I," Goro said, taking a moment to admire Ren's appearance. He looked particularly good in formal wear– maybe even as good as Goro did. Goro wouldn't settle for anything less from a husband of his. 

“Anyway, you've been standing in front of the door for a while. Are you that excited about hosting?”

 _Yes, because it fills me with elation whenever I’m in a position where other people have to acknowledge that we have a great marriage and that our relationship is becoming stronger every day_. “Shut up,” Goro said. He frowned. Maybe everyone was right when they called him a tsundere. Well, it didn’t matter now. “People should have been arriving five minutes ago.”

The doorbell rang.

“There are our guests,” Ren said, standing up. 

Goro opened the door. Haru and Yusuke were standing in front of him. Haru was wearing an evening gown, Yusuke a suit that she'd probably bought for him. 

"Hello, you two!" Haru said.

"Thank you for the invitation," Yusuke said solemnly. He glanced around as they entered. "You have a lovely home. Is that space heater new?"

"It's charming!" Haru said, a word that Goro knew from experience was used by incredibly wealthy people when they thought something was inadequate. 

The rest of their guests trickled in fairly quickly after that. Soon, everyone was gathered in their living room– all of the former Phantom Thieves and Sumire, plus Sae, Sojiro, and even Maruki, all dressed in formal clothes, as Goro had explicitly requested in the invitations and re-emphasized in the email reminders. 

"Whoa, you did _not_ tell me you were inviting him," Futaba said when she saw Maruki. "But I'm actually okay with it." 

"Yeah, I can't stay mad at this guy," Ryuji announced, clapping Maruki on the back. 

"I can, personally, but Ren insisted," Goro said flatly. 

"He helped us out recently," Ren said. "Plus I missed his snacks."

"Don't worry, I brought a lot to try and make everyone like me again," Maruki said quickly. 

Yusuke held out his hand. "And you've succeeded. Now hand them over."

"Wait until after dinner, Yusuke," Makoto advised. 

While everyone moved into the dining area, Ren and Goro went to bring out the food. Then Ren placed the plates he was carrying on the table. "We made all of this, and it took forever, so you're welcome."

"On the menu you'll find Leblanc-style curry, fried rice, and okonomiyaki," Goro said brightly. 

"Yup," Ren said. "That makes everything we know how to cook. Plus there's ice cream in the freezer for desert that Goro ran out and bought an hour ago when we realized we had no dessert."

"Fine by me," Ryuji said. "The fried rice looks way less poisonous this time. Let's dig in!"

Goro watched everyone eat, looking for reactions. He could sense Ren doing the same next to him. This was the moment of truth. 

Sumire spoke first. "This is really good, you two! I'm pleasantly surprised!"

"You could have done much worse for beginners," Makoto agreed.

"The curry's great, as always!" Ann said cheerily. Off Goro's look, she added quickly, "And the rice."

"This okonomiyaki is delectable," Yusuke said, although he seemed to be eating at such a rapid speed that Goro wasn't sure if he could really taste the food. 

Taking in the sight of everyone eating contentedly, Goro relaxed. Next to him, Ren murmured, "Guess we did a good job."

"It seems so. I want to do even better next time, though."

Ren grinned. "Of course you do."

Dinner was a lively affair, which Goro supposed was to be expected when you were acquainted with as colorful of a circle of people as he and Ren were. Sae and Maruki made small talk. Ann took pictures at various angles of all the food. Morgana adjusted well to his high chair. 

After a while of processing all of the talk, Goro excused himself and rose. 

He headed into the hallway, where the others couldn't see him, and leaned against the wall, taking in a quiet moment of solitude. He felt exhausted, but… satisfied. He was happy with his life, Goro realized. It felt odd, considering he'd never experienced such a feeling before.

Goro glanced around, making sure no one was there. Then he reached beneath the collar of his shirt and pulled out a thin silver chain. He took hold of the small object attached to it and held it up to his eye level.

"So you do wear the ring."

Goro looked up. Ren was standing at the end of the hall, looking back at him. 

"Well," Goro said, smiling slightly, "not where anyone can see it. It's a cheap kid's toy, after all."

"Yeah, yeah." Ren walked over to him, grinning. "Sorry I didn't get you something better."

Goro tucked the chain with the ring on it back under his shirt. "Well, I've been thinking of a way you can make it up to me."

"Yeah?" Ren stepped in front of him and leaned close.

Goro looked back at him defiantly. "I want a real wedding."

Ren smiled wider, putting his hands on Goro's hips. "I thought you might say that."

"I want grotesque displays of opulence," Goro continued, looping his arms around Ren's neck. "I want color-coordinated flower arrangements. I want to invite Mrs. Ishida and make her cry while she thinks about how much better our wedding is than hers."

"Okay." Ren kissed the corner of Goro's mouth. "By the way, none of this is actually surprising me. I already know you're high-maintenance."

"I am incredibly high-maintenance," Goro agreed. "I want ice sculptures and a fountain." He moved his hand to hold Ren's chin in place, so that they were looking right at each other. “And I want you to spend the rest of your life with me."

"I can definitely do that," Ren said, and then he kissed Goro, hard. 

Goro almost forgot about where they were until he heard Futaba's voice from the dining room. “Hey, lovebirds! We're waiting on our ice cream!"

Ren broke away from him, slowly. "Time to get them their ice cream."

"I'll do it." Goro smoothed down his hair. "I think I've proven myself to be the better host this evening, after all."

"As if," Ren said easily. "My table manners _and_ my great conversation knocked you into second place." 

"Keep dreaming," Goro advised.

"Well," Ren said. "To settle it, we could always see who gets everyone their bowls faster."

"You're on," Goro said, and then they were trying not to crash into each other as they rushed to the kitchen. 

Being married to your rival was never boring. 

**Author's Note:**

> if shuake crack like this is your thing I have a whole [collection](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19094083)


End file.
